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Tag Archives: New Years

Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions

  1. Spend more time with the family.
  2. Take more exercise – Get fit.
  3. Lose (loose!) weight.
  4. Give up smoking (again).
  5. Get out of dept.
  6. Learn a new skill, take up a new hobby.
  7. Put something into the community -help others.
  8. Get organized.  Else buy shares in diary, or companies selling electronic planners!
  9. Become more security conscious.
  10. Give up drinking, at least for the first week of January!

Politician in Action

A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky.

‘If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I’m  against it.  But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I’m for it.  This is my position, and I will not compromise.’

Lecture Tour with A Difference

On New Year’s Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left   his van in the car park and walked home.  As he was wobbling along,   he was stopped by a policeman.  ‘What are you doing out here at four   o’clock in the morning?’ asked the police officer.

‘I’m on my way to a lecture,’ answered Roger.

‘And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at   this time on New Year’s Eve?’ enquired the constable sarcastically.

‘My wife,’ slurred Daniel grimly.

Mark Twain Said

New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular   annual good resolutions.  Next week you can begin paving hell with them   as usual.