‘Twas the night before Christmas when just north of town
Santa’s sleigh dropped a runner. Santa’s sleigh broke down.
St. Nick landed safely and walked all round his sleigh.
“Why now,” he thought, “On the night before Christmas Day?”
Claus dialed up the Elfnet where calls are never dropped.
“Get some mechanics here fast. Christmas can’t be stopped.”
“Don’t worry we’ll be there in a second or two,”
Said the Chief Elf Mechanic. “We know what to do.”
A dozen elves arrived and swarmed over the sleigh.
“Well,” said Santa. “Tell me. Tell me. What do you say?”
“Uh boss, I don’t want to put you in a panic,”
“But we’re done tonight,” said the Chief Elf Mechanic.
“But,” said Claus, “If this isn’t fixed on the double,”
“There will be no Christmas presents. This is trouble!”
“You think I can just snap my fingers more or less?”
Asked the Chief Elf Mechanic and Santa said, “Yes!”
“Repairs like this aren’t easy, even with magic,”
Said the elf. And Claus said, “No gifts would be tragic.”
“Think of children with no presents under the tree.”
“Wait-a-sec,” said the elf, “You can’t blame this on me!”
“Then come up with an answer to get us on task,”
“And hurry,” pleaded Santa, “That’s all that I ask.”
“We need a service truck with studded tires and such,”
“With room for lots of stuff. That’s not asking too much.”
“A plumbing contractor would have these by the fleet.”
“We could load the truck and hook up the deer quite neat.”
“I don’t know,” said Santa. “It doesn’t seem quite right.”
“But then, I can’t be choosy. It’s Christmas Eve night.”
“Yes, do it,” said Santa. “Go find someone on call,”
“With a truck that’s got room for the gifts we must haul.”
They called and they called, but no one answered the phone,
Except for me. I answered. I answered alone.
They’re crazy, I thought, if you really want to know.
Still, I left to find them, north of town in the snow.
This is a practical joke, I thought to myself.
A call from a sleigh phone by Kris Kringle’s chief elf?
But I was curious and I wanted to see
If the story was true. If it really could be.
So I drove the back roads, following GPS
As the snow started to fall; the roads were a mess.
I couldn’t believe it when I saw Santa’s sleigh.
It really is true and I thought there was no way.
There was Santa and reindeer and elves I suppose,
And one of the reindeer had a bright red shiny nose.
When Saint Nicholas saw me emerge from the snow,
He grabbed his stomach, leaned back, and laughed, “Ho, ho, ho!”
“Your truck will do. I think it will do quite nice.”
“It’s even bigger than my sleigh, bigger by twice.”
When I opened the door, I was swarmed by the elves.
They emptied my inventory, emptied my shelves.
And stuffed them with games, dolls, and every sort of toy.
They really had something for every girl and boy.
Now my truck holds a lot of parts, this much is true,
And it’s clean and well maintained. It’s practically new.
Yet there are limits to how much stuff it can hold,
But the chief elf said the elves use a space time fold.
“You humans think of dimensions X, Y and Z,”
“But we add a fourth. We aren’t limited to three.”
“We load it full for an instant of time, and then,”
“We advance an instant and we do it again.”
Next, they hooked up the deer to the front of my truck.
“It works,” said the Chief Elf Mechanic, “Finally some luck!”
“Your truck’s quite toasty,” claimed Claus, as he climbed inside.
“So much warmer than a supersonic sleigh ride.”
“I want you to know,” said Saint Nicholas to me,
“That you will find something special under your tree.”
“But now its time for you to sleep until the dawn.”
And Despite myself, I found I started to yawn.
“The elves will see to it that you’re safe in your bed,”
“Though I know you would rather ride along instead.”
“And when you wake up this will all seem like a dream.”
My eyelids felt heavy as Santa called his team.
And the next morning my truck was covered with snow.
I doubt it had moved and there were no tracks to show.
It must have been a dream, was my sad little thought,
Until I looked under the tree. Guess what I got!
It was the tool of my dreams, the tool of my life!
It was an Elvish space time folding pocket knife!
Don’t believe me? Think I’m just having a yuck?
Wait until you see all of the stuff in my truck.
For all of your plumbing, we can take care of you,
What’s more, we’ll even take calls on Christmas Eve too!